Here's another wonderful use for Cabbage

Breast Augmentation

Hello and welcome back to another edition of the Way Weird Ezine. Americans are always trying to improve their sexuality by changing their appearance. Many women turn to diets to slim themselves down, and others are now using botox to remove wrinkles from their faces. But there's a new type of procedure in London that is making its way to the US that may end breast augmentation with implants as we know it.

Doctor Ronald Joelsy, a cosmetic surgeon based in London, has develop a new breast augmentation procedure that eliminates the worries of implants leaking in the chests of women. I was able to get Dr. Joelsy on the phone, and the procedure sounds a little painful. Here's what he had to say,:
"Fifteen years ago I told my wife that if she didn't get implants in her chest I was going to leave her. I am a boob man." he said with a chuckle, "But two years after the operation her 64 triple D implants started to leak, and two weeks later she died from complications. I felt a little bad about the whole thing, so I started testing new forms of implants from saline based all the way to petroleum jelly implants. I even developed a cabbage implant that I used on a client, and although the breasts looked a little lumpy from the drying of the cabbage leaves, you couldn't tell with her shirt and bra on. But it was too unproven, and frowned upon by people in my profession. So then I develop electro-synthetic-correlation."

He then explained how this procedure works:
"I take each breast and over a 3 year period, once per week my clients come in and I use electric motion on each breast to put them into shock, which can cause them to grow:
http://www.wayweird.com/archives/2001/nov/tittietorture.shtml

I asked him if the procedure has worked yet, and he told me not yet, but he has high hopes.

Ladies of the world, keep your breasts the way they are, and don't electrocute them.

I'm used to getting some very strange emails but this is the strangest yet. To bad it didn't come in while the Cabbage Alliance was still around.