I have to say that this has been the hardest Christmas for me in a long time. I'm not homesick, which I usually am,(I miss the snow this time of year). I am a bit nostalgic, I miss the love that cancer took from me all those years ago, I miss my old friends that I haven't seen in years. I miss my oldest boys who won't be here this year. But there is good side too. If it weren't for a love lost, I wouldn't have known what it was like to be lucky enough to be completely loved by 2 men in my life. I wouldn't have know what it means to have true love in my life twice. I guess my problem is that good things don't last for long and all of a sudden I'm afraid someting's gonna happen. Call it intuition, call it paranioa, call it what you will. Something's around the corner and good or bad I have to face it head on.

On a much lighter side, WHERE is everyone?